Dear People.

Today I drove a long way. And during my drive I thought - I should write a blog when I get home. But not about the boring trip, the boring town I went to, and all that. Rather, I should write a blog where I address an anonymous letter to each of my friends. Just short ones, and not to all my friends... but maybe just a few - like 3 perhaps.

So here goes. If you are my friend, maybe you know who I'm talking to... if you don't know me, and stumbled across this randomly, well, you can probably relate to what I'm saying.

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Dear friend,

We've known eachother for quite a while now, and we've been through quite a bit. I've always admired you but I couldn't begin to tell you why. You are a wonderful loyal friend, but lately things have changed. I don't know why completely, although I could speculate ... with everything that's happened in the last year I guess you could justify a bit of a change in attitude. The problem is, more so than usual, you couch what you say in passivity and ambiguity when it relates to your opinion. Worse, you'll complain about something that's wrong, and when someone else agrees that its crap, you'll defend it... I just don't know what to do anymore! I love you but you drive me crazy - original huh?

-Amanda

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Dear friend,

I haven't actually known you that long if you think about it, but you are one of my closest friends. The trouble I have is that I struggle to have myself heard around you. Sometimes I will start saying something, but you will cut me off and start a conversation of your own, and no one seems to notice that I was saying anything at all. I find it frustrating both for the obvious reason of feeling my opinion isn't worth hearing, but also for the fact that I can't seem to bring it up because I value you too much as a friend to risk hurting you. Its complicated. Also - god damnit get some self confidence. There is a reason your friends love you like crazy, and its not because you've tricked us into doing so! You're an awesome, compassionate and loving person and you need to wake up and realise your special place in the world.

-Amanda

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Dear friend,

I have known you for a long time too, but somehow I haven't ever had a fight with you. I don't know how, but we've always got along. You are my sister that turned out not to be my sister... which is good because we get all the awesome parts of sisterhood and none of the crappy angsty stuff that you get when you grow up. I admire you, I worry for you and I love having you around. I don't know what I'm going to do without you, but I think my phone will be used a little bit more often somehow. I want you to look after yourself and I do worry that you have a tendency to the excess, but I trust that you know when enough is too much, and the people you keep around you are good people too. But if it is ever too much, I know that you trust me enough to come and ask me for help, or for a shoulder, or advice - or even just a hug. Because I love you in an unexpected, unconditional way.

-Amanda



If you read this, and you think its you, it might not be. If you feel offended, don't be. These are letters to my friends, who I love. Also if you recognise the negative qualities, that doesn't mean its you! Part of the reason things annoy me is because I recognise those qualities in myself, and so they annoy me in other people more than other things, because they are things about myself that I don't like... see? Ah. Complicated. Relationships are fun. :-P



Now, just because he always wants me to, here is a bit about ... sex.

We have it.
We like it.

;-) Sorry honey, that's all I feel comfortable revealing on a semipublic forum.

I love you!



xox