Nice Surprise

Well its a nice day Brisbane today, as opposed to the last week where its been pretty rainy and overcast. Of course, on a nice day like this I find out that I have a 4000 word case study to write by next Monday - yes, that's seven days away - which is worth SIXTY PERCENT of my mark for this subject. My god. I won't be going outside for a little while I think.

So why am I blogging? Well it isn't as bad as it looks. I'm not REALLY procrastinating, because this is part of my plan. I haven't written anything in a while, so I have kind of lost the "roll", if you will. You know when you are on a roll when you are writing - you feel the words flowing, you feel inspired, and you don't go "Oooooh GROAN... can't someone else do this for me?" I'd like to avoid that as much as possible. So in a sense I'm flexing my writing muscles. See? Its not so bad.

Anyway - I'm off to figure out what theory I'm going to use, research it, and understand it enough to make it look like I know what I'm talking about to other people :-P FUN!

Whatcha doooooiin?

So living in Brisbane is nice. The weather is mostly quite lovely, the city is nice and city-like. I have good company at home, and most of the people at work are nice. I have boss issues, but that's ok cos I'm job hunting ...

The thing is that I really quite miss the ability to just go and visit people. I'm also scared that when I go back, things won't be the same - new friends might have turned into aquaintances etc. I guess that's the compromise I've made.

The funny thing is, I think I'd one day like to move to Wales. How much more impossible will it be to spontaneously visit my friends, or sister, or parents? I think I may be crazy. I think the thought of moving away, and the thought of my friends and family are just kept in crazy seperate parts of my mind, and I refuse to accept that by moving away, I'll lose the ability to see everyone I want: why can't I have my cake, and eat it too? Mmm... cake.

Speaking of cake - did you know its very hard to lose weight when the only person you are really accountable to is your boyfriend who would eat everything in Woolworths every day if he had the chance? True story.

Anyways. There isn't much more to update on. I've got nothing to rant about - nothing I want on the internet anyway, so I think that's it for now.

In summary:

• Miss my friends and family
• Want to move to Wales
• Want to eat cake
• Have skinny boyfriend

Much love,

Manda

In the Brisbane

So I've moved to Brisbane with the Nannal. We live in an awesome apartment in the city centre, pretty close to Queen Street mall, and closer to Brunswick Street in Fortitude Valley (the Valley, as its apparently known).

I've even got a job in the reception downstairs... That's right - my commute to work has turned from 2 1/2 hours when I was working at Haigh's, to 2 minutes (and that's only if the lifts are being slow)! Mental...

The city is lovely - right on a river, lots of nice buildings, and friendly people (although they are terrible at walking in a straight line!). I don't want to compare it to Adelaide, because they are so different in my mind. I love Adelaide so much - I can picture the streets, the skyline, and the little lanes so well - so I won't compare the two because it might make me sad. Not that Brisbane isn't great, but its like comparing a new friend to your mother - its just not the same! Not bad, but not the same!

The funniest thing about my life at the moment is that I never ever planned this. From all my lists and dreams over the years, I never once thought that I'd move to Brisbane because my boyfriend got a job up here. Especially getting a job in maintenance... not exactly the line of work that you associate with moving up in the world! But its certainly worked out that way. And he's got prospects, he enjoys his work (although never as much as his free time), and he has a shiny new car to dote on.

I suppose its just funny that no matter how much you plan and worry and all that, things will have a way of just happening. I like to picture an all knowing me sitting above me looking down and just laughing, shaking her head knowingly as I plan and plot my future. She knows what's going to happen, but hey, why spoil the fun of list making and dreaming?

Not that I don't believe that if I set my mind to something I can't make it happen, just that sometimes the unexpected is just as good as anything I plan, and that I have to admit that I DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING!

But ssh. I'd like to keep the impression that I do, in fact, know everything. Lol... That's a whole other issue.




Anyway I'm going to go clean my very uncluttered and clean house - YAY! (New places that you brought 10% of your belongings to are very easy to clean by the way, just so you know).



xx

Brisvegas

I'm moving to Brisbane.




Oh my god.




I'm moving to BRISBANE. Next month...




Oh my god.

Working and Studying

The other day I had a little bit of an argument with Nannal. From his perspective it was probably nothing - just him teasing me. But for me it was a bit of a sting. See, he complained about the amount of money that he's been putting in the bills account relative to how much I contribute. Since he earns about 90% of our combined income I thought that was fair, but he said that I should be doing more around here... I wanted to slap, but I didn't.

Here are my go-to excuses.

1) I am studying at the moment. Granted, this argument is not very persuasive if I've just finished a solid day procrastinating ... but I think its a valid reason.

2) He spent a whole year mooching off me. He wasn't earning any money, he wasn't studying, and he didn't do that much cleaning. Ok, he did the dishes most of the time. But still. All he really did was play world of warcraft.

3) I DO a lot around here. The only time anything is ever cleaned is if I do it. The only time the random scattered booze bottles are ever cleared away (despite the fact that they are never mine) is when I do it. The only time the bathroom is cleaned (granted, that's not that often... bathrooms are smelly) is when I do it. The only time the clothes are picked up and sorted is when I do it. I could go on... So I DO a lot. He does very little - so nyeh.

4) Nyeh.


Ok the last one is probably not a very effective argument, but still.

I think I'm justified. Besides, it isn't like I haven't tried to get a better job. I have been applying for all manner of work since I finished my first degree. I've tried in all three levels of government. I've tried for big companies. I've tried for work interstate. I've tried in other retail positions. I've tried and tried and am sick of being knocked back. I'm the most qualified chocolate seller you can find.

But right now I think I'm pretty happy to be working in a chocolate shop a few times a week (although this coming week I only have ONE shift! Gah), while studying criminology - an area of study that is probably more likely to get me work than plain old anthropology (although I still love you Anthro!)


Le sigh. If only I could get paid for study (not by centrelink) and for doing genealogy. If only I could just paint stuff and have it sold for $300 a pop. If only I could go to sleep, and let my fingers write a brilliant piece of prose and then get published and rich. Sadly, I think I am going to have to work a bit harder for these things.



Now I might go off and analyse my life in terms of the criminal opportunities available to me and the social controls that prevent me from taking these opportunities... Or, I could study...

Who'da thunk?

Who would have thought that my last post would be post number 60? This is definately the longest I've stuck to a single blog. I think that deserves a virtual round of applause - *applause*

It is almost the end of April, so I thought I'd break the cycle of only blogging once a month by blogging today - which, if your maths is as good as mine (read: you can add 1 and 1), makes TWO whole posts so far in this single month. Wow. I'm on fire.

Do I have anything to talk about of substance? Well not really. Except that I just saw Zombieland and thought it was really, really awesome. I absolutely loved the way they developed the characters, the darkness turned funny (which works sometimes in films but mostly not), the hilarious bit with Bill Murray and the ending. The end was a touch predictable, but I didn't care. Mostly because I did care about the characters and think the world that was created for them is so awesome that I wanted it to keep going.

Now, who would have thought that I would love a zombie movie other than Sean of the Dead?


In other news I have been thinking a lot about crime and criminogenic needs and all that stuff. I have to do an essay soon about a local crime problem. Given that I live in the Barossa I was thinking of doing something to do with alcohol abuse... But I thought it might be easier to go with illicit drug abuse among young people. We are supposed to look at the issue from two different theoretical perspectives, and I'm finding it difficult to choose between them! I'm fairly sure I'll choose conflict criminology because it is basically made for issues to do with drug use and criminality. But the second one is harder. This would be where, if I had blog readers, I would ask the masses to vote on a few options... But, seeing as I only have me, and I can't be arsed going through all the possible perspectives for the sake of a blog that no one reads, I won't. :P


Which brings me to another, if somewhat related point. Why do I bother to write this blog at all (even if it is only very rarely) if no one ever reads it? How can I have 61 posts, with no comments, and no views, and still have any motivation to write it? Well. I guess that's the difference between this blog and others I've started. This blog isn't about views. This blog is about me. When I feel like writing, I don't want to write on a word document, because that is too much like being productive. I want to write on a colourful space about the things I like. I don't want to have to be paranoid about upholding my reputation in regards to correct spelling and grammar. I don't want to worry about spelling wierd wrong.

WEIRD WEIRD WIERD WIERD who cares?! Its a stupid word anyway. I resort to saying 'odd' nowadays. Damn English.


Aaaanyway. That is enough procrastination for one day. Oddly enough (hehe- odd), writing this has put me in the mood to be productive. And so I shall.

Farewell!

BEDA for me is BEMI2010

For those who don't know, my title means "Blog-Every-Day-in-April for me is Blog-Every-Month-In-2010", as I seem to log on once a month for the most part.

I just thought I would check in. I know I actually thought of something to write in my blog about 2 days ago, but alas I didn't write it down and now I can't remember what I thought was so blog worthy.

So here is a life update:

Those life possibilities I was talking about last month: Well, they haven't eventuated ... yet. I'm still hopeful, but Nannal isn't. Regardless, a change is coming because whether what we thought was initially going to happen comes about or not, Nannal is looking to change. You can only work in a place where you are constantly treading water and banging your head against the wall/tightass-shortsighted-management for so long before you move on.

Uni: My graduate certificate in Criminology and Criminal Justice is going relatively well. I haven't been the best at keeping up with weekly contributions on the discussion board, but I've definately been doing the readings and enjoying them for the most part. I think the main reason I forget to log on and commit my thoughts to ... well, not paper, but forum ... is because I do the readings, write some notes and have a 'tutorial' sort of discussion in my head. Then I guess I subconsciously tick that box without actually using those thoughts for a discussion with other people online. Woops. Silly brain.

I did hand in my first piece of work for the degree the other day though. It was an odd feeling because I had to submit it twice: a virtual copy, and a paper copy. The online submission was pretty easy - you just fill in a form and then upload the file and away you go. The paper one was weirder. Because it was too late for me to post it up to the campus, I had to do a Remote Area Print (or RAP ... hehe). That means that I had to add money to my printing account, and basically do the same thing as the online submission (upload document with a form) and then trust that the people who do all the work on the other end will print it out and get it to the course marker.

It is very odd trusting all this stuff to the internet. Its like the first time you transfer funds electronically - you feel like you've just sent all this money into cyber space and you aren't sure it will actually get to where it is supposed to go until you check with them that it has.

Weight: I can't remember if I actually mentioned this on the blog or not, but I joined weight watchers with some people at work, and it is going relatively well. I have lost about 9.5 kilos in total, which is just over 10% of my starting weight (yes for those of you with a gift of maths I weighed 94.4 when I started - shutup! :P). I'm actually very proud of my progress and optimistic that I can continue on and get down to my goal weight. I have lost almost 15cm around my hips, which sounds massive, and makes me feel pretty good. I also keep glancing myself in the mirror when I get changed and getting a little jump of pride in my stomach.

Now is as good a time as any to commit some goals to 'paper' in regards to my weight I suppose. My goal weight is 65kg, which is smackbang in the middle of my healthy weight range according to my BMI. I know its achievable because I weighed about that when I was in my final year of highschool and my body hasn't really changed since then (apart from the food related expansion). But losing that much weight is a bit daunting... So my first goal was 5% - which I reached a little while ago. My second was 10% before the end of the first program (which was the 5 May - so I'm ahead of schedule!). My third one was only a little step up to 10kg lost. Now I'm going to make my next goal 15kg lost - which would put me under 80kg... which would be AMAZING. I haven't been under 80kg since like... 2006. After that obviously I'll go for 20kg, then 25kg, then 1 kg increments until 65kg and I'll be ridiculously good-looking. Lol. Just kidding- I'll be lighter, but just as sexy :P.

I guess then the next real challenge will be to keep it off. And that is certainly a challenge. But if I can manage to change my lifestyle to fit the weight watchers program - which, essentially, is just watching portions, watching content, and getting moving - then I should be ok. I know I will never be one of those people who just doesn't have to worry about it, but that's ok. At least I'll feel in control and have a good handle on my body - what it needs, how it reacts, and what it feels like to be healthy. Which will be nice.

Ok. That's enough for one morning. I have only just had my coffee - I've not even showered! I think its time to get moving...

XO


P.S. I saw Kick Ass last night - it was very enjoyable. I liked the humour mixed with the usual super-hero themes of doing what is right, and the unusual aspect of an ordinary (as in no special powers) little girl totally owning people with her ninja-like fighting skills. Yes, she says 'cunts' - but that's ok. I'm sure that actors parents made her realise what it meant, why you shouldn't say it usually and all that... It worked. She was bad ass. Loved it.

Possibilities

Recently we (as in Nathaniel and I) have been offered an opportunity to move interstate. And this time it isn't a "maybe possibly" but a "probably" kind of a deal. Which means that I'll be up and moving (probably) before the middle of the year. Crazy!

I always wanted to move somewhere other than Adelaide, but in my imaginings as teenager I always thought I'd move to Europe somewhere and meet an indie-rock-philosopher and fall in love, while getting paid shitloads to write books or analyse things/people.

Instead I may be moving to somewhere else in Australia, living in an awesome place (can't give too much away yet) with a gamer-nerd who is super good at fixing stuff. Life does not like the plans I lay out does it?

Oh and I'm certainly not getting paid shitloads to write books or philosophize about anything... But that's ok. I'll get there... and I'm sure the picture will look just as good. Whatever I end up doing, as long as it fits with me, I'll make it work.


Oooh... optimism on the horizon! That means I must have had enough coffee today... that's nice.

Moving Away

I've been living up here in the Barossa for over a year now. Its been really nice actually. I had reservations about moving to the town where I went to highschool, but I've enjoyed rediscovering the Barossa. I like the community (what little of it I'm involved in), the views and the lack of traffic (coming from PortRush road, its a dream).

But the one thing that I miss is the proximity to my friends. It is difficult not to be offended when people you used to see (at the very least) once a month, sometimes once a week, have not been to see you once, except for my birthday party. I know it is an hour drive from Adelaide, but I know that because I drive it all the time. An hour drive isn't actually that long - listen to one CD and you are there.

I guess if we all made the effort to make clear when we were home and open to visitors we'd have more success. As for myself I always make the mistake of assuming that people are too busy to see me. And I suppose we really need to make an effort to catch up outside of birthday situations. The fringe should be the perfect opportunity because there is so much to do, and its in Adelaide (so no pesky driving aaaallll the way to Tanunda). But I've not heard any enthusiasm from anyone. Perhaps I should make the effort, and try to organise something... But it really feels like an uphill battle, and I find it hard to believe that friendship should feel like that.

Maybe its just one of those growing up things. Maybe... But I can't help but pine for the days when I would see people every weekend. I guess I'm just a failed, old social butterfly/moth.

In defence of Good Education

There have been a few things that I've wanted to blog about since I last opened this site... but I always seem to get distracted, and then justify my distraction by telling myself to think about it for a while before blogging so my argument is more convincing. Unfortunately, as you might guess, I tend to forget what I was going to write about.

But one thing that sparked in me the urge to put fingers to keyboard (which is connected to a computer, connected to the internet and accessing blogger... gee that catchphrase is a bit longer than pen to paper...) is Dan Brown's YouTube video "An Open Letter To Educators" (see it here).

In this video Dan argues that education systems need to evolve past the point where they are now in order to retain their importance in society. This isn't because us Generation-Y-ers can't be bothered to sit in a classroom for more than 5 minutes when we aren't obliged to by law, but because the nature of information has changed drastically since the educational institution was designed.

In the past knowledge and information were valuable things. Starting way back when the only people with access to total information were the kings and his advisors, then moving forward to most aristocracy, and then to a broader class of the wealthy. If you wanted information you had to either be born into a position that granted you access to it, or have the capital to purchase it. Now I won't get into the whole concept of capital and knowledge and power as espoused by the likes of Foucault and Bourdieu, but you get the general idea. If you did not have the power (through whatever means) to access knowledge, you could not have it.

Now knowledge is virtually free. All you need is access to the internet, and you can find out anything. Sure, there are very small pockets of information that have yet to be uploaded to the internet, but for all intents and purposes, anything and everything is accessible for no cost on the internet.

"So why then do we persist in making people pay to learn facts, when they are so freely available?" is the question that Dan Brown basically asks.

I think that he definately has a point. Education institutions do have a habit of believing that the best way to teach their students is to teach them facts, and then test them on their ability to remember those facts. If that is the sole basis for a degree, I would certainly agree that there is not much point in paying for the privelige.

But I do think that there is more to most degrees than just fact-learning. I don't know if it is just because I went to the University that I went to, or that I did a Humanities degree, but to me a degree does much more than just teach you facts. A degree teaches you how to use those facts, talk about those facts, disagree with those facts, and critically analyse them. A degree should teach you how to be a critical problem solver who has the sufficient background knowledge in their area to effectively argue points, make plans, offer theories and succeed in their chosen area of specialty.

I guess a small part of that is memorising facts to the extent that you have to know what has been said and done in a discipline in order to move forward. We can't all discover everything from scratch. But I think that is the unimportant bit. Its like when you learn how to drive - you need to memorise all the basic rules and movements before you can go anywhere exciting... Or you will fail badly or die at worst.

So I think while Dan has a valid point, and many institutions do need to evolve the way that they teach their subjects and treat their students, the value of higher education is not entirely diminished.

Of course I'm biased... I have a Bachelor of Arts, and a First Class Honours Degree of Bachelor of Arts in Anthropology, and I am about to start my Graduate Certificate in Criminology and Criminal Justice. If I didn't believe in the education system, then I would certainly not be going back for my third degree, and not piling my HECS debt so high that I don't want to think about it... So I guess I'm somewhat invested in the argument.

But as I've said, Dan makes good points. He is a big ideas person, and I can see how a traditional learning environment would not suit him at all. He is so creative, he could probably design his own educational system and series of degrees to suit him before most of us could decide on which direction to take our lives after school... But I just had to argue the point from another perspective.




In life news, my sister turned 21! It was a pretty fun triad of happenings. First I went to the parent's place for dinner on the eve of her birthday. We had lasagne and wine and cake - a good night in my books. Then we went out on the town on the Saturday after her birthday and had a good time. Naturally I didn't last very long into the night as I'm a nana... and Nannal, in the middle of having an asthma attack, crashed my car into a pole that night. ... but overall it was a good night. And then finally we had the family dinner on the 20th at my parents' place. We invited all of the aunts and uncles and grandparentals and cousins... but who turned up? Mum and Dad and Teeni, of course. And Me and Nannal. And then just my Aunty Ce and Uncle Roly with their eldest Megan and her boyfriend Pat. That's right, out of all my parents siblings, their partners and children (that is 2 aunts 2 uncles all with partners and most with kids) only one sibling could be bothered to come. One didn't even reply that they weren't coming. They just didn't come...

Oh well, all the more for us I say.

Oh and I started Weight Watchers with a friend from work. Its actually pretty great. The first week I lost 2.7 kilograms, which was very encouraging. I'm not sure about this week, since I went over my points quite significantly on the weekend... damn birthday dinners! But I'm sure it will be ok.

Right this entry is quite long enough!


Aufwiedersehen!

Favourite Poems

I'm trying to think of things to get tattooed on my back... I already have one tattoo, but I want more. But at the same time I kind of want to limit it to my back so a) it won't effect me at work; and b) I won't get sick of it quickly.

So this desire lead me to think about a few possibilities

1. "There's no end to the love you can give when you change your point of view" This is the first line of the song "Delilah" by the Dresden Dolls. As I'm sure you will already know if you know me, I LOVE Amanda Palmer and the Dresden Dolls. This would mean so much to me on that level alone. Add to that the fact that philosophically it reflects one of my major beliefs and you are on a winner. Plus I think I will get my Grandmother to write it for me so it can have that extra sentimental value.

2. Runes. I talked about this with my friend Lils ages ago. 2008 actually, that shit of a year. I wanted to get the Futhark to show the circle of life, and that all things have meaning and will lead you to higher things if you allow yourself to believe that possibility. I was thinking of maybe just getting the ones that specifically referred to overcoming trials, but the whole first cycle seemed more appropriate.

3. The eternity symbol. You know, the three swirls heading in the same direction... I have loved this symbol since I first saw it in a carving in an Irish tomb.



And thinking about all this lead me to remember that phase I went through where I believed that all my art should have if not all, at least some writing, because language and words were just as beautiful if not more than abstract forms. I still believe that language and words are beautiful and so very, very important, but I don't believe that they are more so than visual art. I still like the combination of words and images, but I think that they mostly serve different purposes... And blahblahblah I could go on about it but that'd be one massive tangent.

Anyway - the point is, I remembered that I own 3 poetry books by my favourite poets: Judith Wright, Emily Dickinson, Sylvia Plath.

I can't find Emily and Sylvia (although I've a sneaking sensation they are in the boot of my car for some reason...), so I will just reproduce firstly the only poem I have ever remembered in its entirety, and then two of my favourite Judith poems.

I felt a Cleaving in my Mind -
As if my Brain had split -
I tried to match it - Seam by Seam -
But could not make it fit.

The thought behind, I strove to join
Unto the thought before -
But Sequence ravelled out of Sound
Like Balls - upon a Floor.
-Emily Dickinson


The Flame Tree
How to live, I said, as the flame-tree lives?
- to know what the flame-tree knows; to be
prodigal of my life as that wild tree
and wear my passion so?
That lover's know of water and earth and sun,
that easy answer to the question of baffling reason,
branches out of my heart this sudden season.
I know what I would know.

How shall I thank you, who teach me how to wait
in quietness for the hour to ask or give:
to take and in taking bestow, in bestowing live:
in the loss of myself, to find?
This is the flame-tree; look how gloriously
that careless blossomer scatters, and more and more.
What the earth takes of her, it will restore.
These are the thanks of lovers who share one mind.

- Judith Wright.


South of my Days
South of my days' circle, part of my blood's country,
rises that tableland, high delicate outline
of bony slopes wincing under the winter,
low trees blue-leaved and olive, outcropping granite -
clean, lean, hungry country. The creek's leaf-silenced,
willow-chocked, the slope a tangle of medlar and crabapple
branching over and under, blotched with a green lichen;
and the old cottage lurches in for shelter.

O cold the black-frost night. The walls draw in to the warmth
and the old roof cracks its joints; the slung kettle
hisses a leak on the fire. Hardly to be believed that summer
will turn up again some day in a wave of rambler roses,
thrust its hot face in here to tell another yarn -
a story old Dan can spin into a blanket against the winter.
Seventy years of stories he clutches round his bones.
Seventy summers are hived in him like old honey.

Droving that year, Charleville to the Hunter,
nineteen-one it was, and the drought beginning;
sixty head left at the McIntyre, the mud round them
hardened like iron; and the yellow boy died
in the sulky ahead with the gear, but the horse went on,
stopped at the Sandy Camp and waited in the evening.
It was the flies we seen first, swarming like bees.
Came to Hunter, three hundred head of a thousand -
cruel to keep them alive - and the river was dust.

Or mustering up in the Bogongs in the autumn
when the blizzards came early. Brough them down; we brought them
down, what aren't there yet. Or driving for Cobb's on the run
up from Tamworth - Thunderbolt at the top of Hungry Hill,
and I give him a wink. I wouldn't wait long, Fred,
not if I was you; the troopers are jut behind,
coming for that job at the Hillgrove. He went like a luny,
him on his big black horse

Oh, they slide and they vanish
as he shuffles the years like a pack of conjuror's cards.
True or not, it's all the same; and the frost on the roof
cracks like a whip, and the back-log breaks into ash.
Wake, old man. This is winter, and the yarns are over.
No one is listening.

South of my days' circle
I know its dark against the stars, the high lean country
full of old stories that still go walking in my sleep.

- Judith Wright.

The Meaning of Squeals

This year so far has contained 2 distinct "Eeeeeeeee!" moments. You know, moments that make you squeal uncontrollably due to an explosion of awesome.

1) Finding out the Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman are engaged. And are planning to follow through and actually get married. That's awesome on its own, but imagining the awesomeness at the actual event? My God. Its good that I'm not their IRL friend, because if I were invited I would be a mess of squeals and sobs of happiness/awesome overload.

2) Seeing the new ALLCAPS video (here) ... and at about 3:00 seeing Kristina and Luke kiss. Omg. Lol. I'm such a fan girl... But when I figured out that they'd finally got together I was super excited, so seeing evidence and seeing such happiness made me squeal like a tool. Again, its a good thing I'm not friends with them in real life. They would most likely back away from me as if I were a zombie.


Now all this squealing leads me to the following conclusion: I'm becoming a softy girly girl in my old age. Well, in my 23-years-old-age, which doesn't really count as old age to most, but if you ask my past teenaged self, she would say that if I'm getting mushy I must be old.

I don't really care though. I'm much more comfortable in myself now than I was then. I tried so hard when I was younger, to present a certain image of myself to others that would simultaneously make me look cool, a bit scary and intelligent. This was mostly so that people wouldn't judge me in any way inferior. I guess that's probably because I'm secretly rather judgemental, and I assume everyone else is as well.

Anywho. I don't care that much about what people think of me anymore. I mean, yes I still care a little bit - that's normal and healthy I think. And yes I still try to pull off a certain image to people who I don't know at all, or don't know that well, but nowadays I'm more happy to explore all aspects of my personality, whether they contradict what I'd like to think about myself or not.

Righto. Now I'm just going to get all fangirly about AllCaps again, and watch all their videos because they are awesome.

<3