Getting On Track

I don't know why I feel like this, but at the moment I feel like I've gone off track. As much as I would argue that you could never actually go "off track" because everything that you do in life teaches you something or sets you towards something else, I have this feeling that I'm drifting a bit. This is probably most likely because until now, I've always had a definite set of goals to work towards, with multiple little goals on the way that I could happily tick off and smile.

I like lists, I like orders, I like charts. Yes - I love genealogy lol - it combines all these things...

But why do i feel off track exactly?

Well for one this is the first year of my adult life where I haven't had any institutional structure to base my life on or fit my life around. I have no assignments due, I have no lectures to attend and I have no set readings. This is really wierd for me. I have considered many times going online and finding some random topic to study just to get that feeling back... but I feel like I should probably learn to deal with it because I can't be a student forever.

I don't have a 9-5/Mon-Fri job either. I work once or twice a week in the city any time from 8.30am-5.30pm (til 9pm on Fridays or 3pm on Saturdays) from Monday to Saturday. So I have no real way of using that for structure either. The only thing I base most of my life on is the old Daytime/Nighttime thing ... which is actually really helpful ^.^

A typical day for me involves a myriad of things... well, that's a lie. It involves a combination of these things:

• Cleaning - I am trying to get everything neat and organised so I don't groan when I walk into a room. Flylady is slowly helping me with this issue...
• Socialising - Sometimes a friend will come over! Or I will go and see a friend! Sometimes my boyfriend is home and we hang out doing one of the last two things on the list.
• Computering - I spend an inordinate amount of time right here - in front of my monitor. Well, now that everything is set up, its actually TWO monitors! How nerdy is that? I play WoW, I facebook, tweet on twitter, watch YouTube videos, read my favourite blogs on my reader (google if you are wondering), research things mentioned in the academic blogs (I can call this preemptive research for the PhD) and generally surf.
• DVD watching - Recently I watched all of That 70s Show again ... and by again I mean for the 4th time. I just love that show and I'm always so sad when it ends. I want more! What happens in the 80s man? Why are actors and directors etc. always so selfish to not spend the rest of their lives creating a show for ME?! Ok. Calming down. I also watch Scrubs and How I Met Your Mother. A while ago we watched all of Stargate. What do I watch now? Yet another point of indecision in my life. Lol/sigh.

Anywho. As you can tell its not exactly an enviable life. I have room for SO much more. I could be getting my art together again. I could be learning something technical to do with computers so I don't get left behind in the technology age. I could be learning about ancient history, or not so ancient history... whatever. *sigh*

I guess what I should be doing, rather than dissecting all this, is putting together some more goals. Or at least reevaluating and recommitting myself to these goals.

I need to get another job. This year is my year off from study, wherein I planned to make money. Sure, its a recession ... but I will get another job eventually ... I have 2 degrees forchrissake!

I need to develop my creative side: Write more poems, blog more, DRAW. PAINT. All that fun stuff that I swore I didn't have enough time to do last year.

I want to plan and prepare for my PhD. I need to hone in on my topic of interest and make it more "thesis-able" (new verbs anyone?). I mean "The Internet and stuff..." is incredibly vague. Who would give me money for that? No one, that's who.

OH! And to bloody keep in touch with my friends. I go weeks without talking to the people I love most in the world! I spoke last to Lindsay and Lealei when I got off the plane... OMG FAIL. I spoke last to my highschool friends even longer ago. Embarrassingly longer ago. (Facebook doesn't really count).

So there we go. I actually feel a little better now. The only thing left to do is to actualise all this good intention - turn it into things that can be part of my daily life. We shall see.