Tuesday, March 31, 2009

OMG

Have you ever stumbled across something online that made you go "OMG THIS IS AMAZING!"? Well I have. Several times actually, but this time its actually in a productive vein.

I was reading Apophenia today when Danah mentioned another researcher named Bernie Hogan who will be working for ... (drum roll please) the OXFORD INTERNET INSTITUTE. OMFG. This is amazing. I literally said out loud: "Oh my god - this is amazing!" to no one in particular.

I really really want to work towards being involved somehow. But at the same time I know it will be incredibly hard work to do so. I know that all my friends and family will laugh at me and say things like "Oh your so clever you'll get in easily." But I don't think they'll realise just how difficult it will be. This isn't a normal university thing. This is Oxford. I don't even know if I could be involved before I finish a PhD. And even then I would have to have my stuff/shit incredibly together to get in. I'd have to be a walking encyclopaedia of knowledge about my area. Oh lord! But its something to aim for... Something!

Excuse me while I run up and down the hallway yelling "Eeeeeeeee!" confusing everyone.

xo

OH! P.S. My sister is still waiting for her son to arrive! He will have to be born by Thursday after noon or he will be induced so... Anytime now!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Getting On Track

I don't know why I feel like this, but at the moment I feel like I've gone off track. As much as I would argue that you could never actually go "off track" because everything that you do in life teaches you something or sets you towards something else, I have this feeling that I'm drifting a bit. This is probably most likely because until now, I've always had a definite set of goals to work towards, with multiple little goals on the way that I could happily tick off and smile.

I like lists, I like orders, I like charts. Yes - I love genealogy lol - it combines all these things...

But why do i feel off track exactly?

Well for one this is the first year of my adult life where I haven't had any institutional structure to base my life on or fit my life around. I have no assignments due, I have no lectures to attend and I have no set readings. This is really wierd for me. I have considered many times going online and finding some random topic to study just to get that feeling back... but I feel like I should probably learn to deal with it because I can't be a student forever.

I don't have a 9-5/Mon-Fri job either. I work once or twice a week in the city any time from 8.30am-5.30pm (til 9pm on Fridays or 3pm on Saturdays) from Monday to Saturday. So I have no real way of using that for structure either. The only thing I base most of my life on is the old Daytime/Nighttime thing ... which is actually really helpful ^.^

A typical day for me involves a myriad of things... well, that's a lie. It involves a combination of these things:
  • Cleaning - I am trying to get everything neat and organised so I don't groan when I walk into a room. Flylady is slowly helping me with this issue...
  • Socialising - Sometimes a friend will come over! Or I will go and see a friend! Sometimes my boyfriend is home and we hang out doing one of the last two things on the list.
  • Computering - I spend an inordinate amount of time right here - in front of my monitor. Well, now that everything is set up, its actually TWO monitors! How nerdy is that? I play WoW, I facebook, tweet on twitter, watch YouTube videos, read my favourite blogs on my reader (google if you are wondering), research things mentioned in the academic blogs (I can call this preemptive research for the PhD) and generally surf.
  • DVD watching - Recently I watched all of That 70s Show again ... and by again I mean for the 4th time. I just love that show and I'm always so sad when it ends. I want more! What happens in the 80s man? Why are actors and directors etc. always so selfish to not spend the rest of their lives creating a show for ME?! Ok. Calming down. I also watch Scrubs and How I Met Your Mother. A while ago we watched all of Stargate. What do I watch now? Yet another point of indecision in my life. Lol/sigh.

Anywho. As you can tell its not exactly an enviable life. I have room for SO much more. I could be getting my art together again. I could be learning something technical to do with computers so I don't get left behind in the technology age. I could be learning about ancient history, or not so ancient history... whatever. *sigh*

I guess what I should be doing, rather than dissecting all this, is putting together some more goals. Or at least reevaluating and recommitting myself to these goals.

I need to get another job. This year is my year off from study, wherein I planned to make money. Sure, its a recession ... but I will get another job eventually ... I have 2 degrees forchrissake!

I need to develop my creative side: Write more poems, blog more, DRAW. PAINT. All that fun stuff that I swore I didn't have enough time to do last year.

I want to plan and prepare for my PhD. I need to hone in on my topic of interest and make it more "thesis-able" (new verbs anyone?). I mean "The Internet and stuff..." is incredibly vague. Who would give me money for that? No one, that's who.

OH! And to bloody keep in touch with my friends. I go weeks without talking to the people I love most in the world! I spoke last to Lindsay and Lealei when I got off the plane... OMG FAIL. I spoke last to my highschool friends even longer ago. Embarrassingly longer ago. (Facebook doesn't really count).

So there we go. I actually feel a little better now. The only thing left to do is to actualise all this good intention - turn it into things that can be part of my daily life. We shall see.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Kind of a place holder...

So over the last few weeks my blogging has dwindled. Yet I feel like I'm forgetting more and more things. Perhaps I should combine blogging with trying to remember stuff! Good plan I think...

1) Lately I've been thinking about Anthropology again. This is probably because I very nearly almost took a scholarship to do my PhD last week, and I've been thinking about possible topics and ideas for when I eventually do jump into the PhD world. At work the other day I was thinking about the way that people justify eating for pleasure. Working at a quality chocolate shop, Haigh's, I often come across people who come in and justify why (or why not) they are going to eat chocolate. Most of the time people just go with the "treat yourself" line. Sometimes they say "I'm going to be naughty" or "I shouldn't but I will" and some people go on about the health benefits of chocolate in general and particularly dark chocolate. Of course there are some people who don't care about justifying they just want to talk chocolate. They LOVE chocolate, and damned if anyone tells them its not "proper" food (which, oddly enough, my boyfriend tells me constantly). So wouldn't it be interesting to see how people view eating for pleasure. I wonder if Bourdieu has anything to say? ... Hm. Probably but I'm not going to read him to find out (I'll let someone who has give me a general idea... I can't penetrate his text!)

2) Online culture sensationalism! Geeeeeeeesh it drives me batty. I read the transcript for an interview with a respected academic or researcher or something who was going on about the way the online or screen cultures are very much "here and now"/"no consequences" experiences, and that they as such alter our way of behaving and thinking. She compared saving the princess in a computer game, to reading about the princess in a book. She said that when you save the princess in the computer game, you don't care about who the princess is, how she feels and why you are saving her. You just want to complete the objective. And if you die, or she dies, you just start again - no big consequences. However if you were reading a book, you care very much about who this princess is, why she needs saving, how she relates to people and whether or not she dies.

Now sure, for some people this may be true. But she really needs to get some field work in because, as any one who has spent a great deal of time playing online games would know, there are many consequences for actions. Sure if you die, you can come to life again very quickly. But if you piss people off, you will face the consequences. If you don't save the princess, you won't progress. And if you are interested enough, you can read the back story and find some very intricate often moving or even amusing stories about the people involved in your quests, especially in the mega populare World of Warcraft.

You can argue all you like that this is different to reading. That you can ignore all the back story just to get to the "end" (really, there is no end in MMORPGs), but that is VERY different to there being no consequences. These people who can't be bothered with the back story or the consequences are equally as unlikely to be bothered with reading a book, so how is that changing behaviour? Isn't it more catering for it?

Furthermore this woman suggested that there was a link between screen culture and the threefold increase in the prescription of drugs used to treat ADHD. WHAT?! One of her arguments against screen culture relies heavily on the nature of online culture/computer based activities being based in "sound byte" information. Here and now or here and RIGHT now. Therefore the inability of people to sustain their attention over long periods of time in contexts outside the "screen culture" must be linked to the increase in the prescription of drugs used to treat ADHD. (Might I add that she doesn't say the "increase in the diagnosis of ADHD" or the "increase in the instances of ADHD" but focuses on the drugs... Odd huh? Does she not believe in the disorder?)

According to my research (which, admittedly I did 2 years ago), the increase in ADHD diagnosis across the board is linked to the increased information available about diagnosable behavioural disorders. When no one knew about ADHD, no one was diagnosed with it. That doesn't mean that no child in the 20's 30's or even 1800's had the symptoms that would today be classified as ADHD. It means that no one knew that there was such a label for these sets of issues, and no one knew that these problems could be handled by administering a drug. Now I do NOT beleive that drugs are the answer for ADHD affected kids or adults. I'm just saying that I find it very difficult to believe that there is a link between methylphenidate prescription and increased use of computers/tvs/screens in general.

If our culture is now catering for people with short attention spans, and not encouraging people to try to extend them, then I can see how we might diagnose that as an attention deficit. But I don't see how we can assume causation.

I'm struggling very hard at the moment not to off on a rant about ADHD. I will say though that ADHD is a western disorder, and I believe that it is a handy diagnostic label that can be applied to kids who think differently, and don't fit in with the normal expectations that children will behave all in a similar fashion. Just because some one is different does not mean that they are disordered. Our society needs to learn to cater for difference within a paradigm other than medicine and disorder.

/END RANT.

Wow. That went on for a lot longer than I intended. And I'm sure when I read it back I could add a lot more on. You know, qualify this or show another opinion there... But I won't. Save that for the thesis eh? Haha.

Anyway I think I'm going to go away and read some more blogs now. There are some REALLY good ones about at the moment that deal with some of the things I'm interested in studying for my PhD (social media, online networking, online role playing, online culture and community etc.). Email me if you are interested in where to find good thinkers about these topics!

xo

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Manda blogs about stuff... but then disappears

I kind of disappeard didn't I?

I guess I just blogged myself out. I've been in a wierd place lately... I don't know.

Its not like I haven't had anything to say.

So in an effort to be a blogger again I'm just going to write random things that I see online.

"I am the spectator, who secretly wants to be spectated." - Chatbott.
How freaking real is that online?

Have you ever wanted to know the kinds of things I think about when I'm doing my special version of anthropology? Look at videos by Michael Wesch. He's so ... so right. And clear. If I could be half as clear I'm sure I would feel a lot more in control of where I think I'm going.



Think about all that! Its amazing isn't it?